When Toke had her first baby, everyone celebrated the child. Nobody noticed that she stopped writing, stopped dreaming, and stopped caring for herself. She loved her daughter, yet every time she looked in the mirror, she cried, “Where did the old me go?”
She wasn’t ungrateful, she was simply a woman who felt lost inside the beauty and pressure of motherhood.
Many women share this silent pain. They adore their children, but they miss their voice, their dreams, and the confidence they once carried. Society praises their strength but rarely asks about their heart.
The Bible shows this tension too. Hannah longed for a child, but after Samuel was born, she still returned to worship, showing that her identity was rooted first in God (1 Samuel 1:27–28).
Mary was a mother, yet she also sat at Jesus’ feet, learning and growing (Luke 2:19).
Their stories teach us that motherhood adds to identity, it should never erase it.
Practical Paths To Rediscovery
Small daily moments:
10–15 minutes for something that is yours like reading, writing, walking, praying.
Ask for help:
Share responsibilities with your spouse, siblings, or trusted support.
Even Moses needed Aaron and Hur (Exodus 17:12).
Reconnect with old passions:
Start slowly, one step a week toward what gives you life.
Speak kindly to yourself:
Identity grows again when you stop judging your pace.
Return to God for clarity:
He calls you by name, not by your role or season (Isaiah 43:1).
For Unmarried Sisters
Choose a partner who supports your dreams, values balance, and is willing to share responsibilities. Protect your passions early so they can grow, not disappear, after children come.
Motherhood is a blessing, but your identity is also a gift from God and both can stand together as you grow.
